An Afghan Wedding

Wahid is one of the terps who works with me here in Herat. He’s a pretty laid back guy. We’ve developed a pretty good friendship over the course of the past year. I didn’t always think that such would be the case. So it’s kind of funny to be making that statement. He moonlights at night in Herat as an English teacher. What you see below is the product of 6 months study (and a bit of an attitude…lol) on the part of one of his students. Nether I nor Wahid made correction or edited the piece. This is straight from a 16 year old Afghani male English student.

An Afghan Wedding

In our country Afghanistan, the youths mostly get married in the early ages. And the marriage process has its own traditions and customaries which sometimes make difficulties for the both sides. Comparing to the other countries Afghan people have kept their culture even though it sucks.

Initially the groom’s family propos to the bride’s family through a traditional gathering. They usually do it several times to get the agreement from the bride’s side and in order to become more familiar with them. During the proposing process, the bride’s family investigate to find out more about the reputation of the groom; for example they will check if the groom is a nice guy, he has a good job, he is able to look after his future wife and in the other words if he is healthy and not addicted to the drugs like opium or hashish… At the end if they find out that the groom fits into their family, they will choose him as their future son in law. Then the both sides will be taking care of the wedding traditions. That’s just the beginning of the misery. This misery is definitely pleasant for bride’s side because they get paid really good but poor groom is going to live hand to mouth for the rest of his life.

I read it out loud in our office and everyone burst out laughing. It’s hilarious. And it contains a lot of truth. Reading that passage will give you a good idea of the typical conversation around the office. You kinda have to translate their English along the way. But we have a good time.

We spend a lot of time talking about the cultural differences of our countries. Fawad is another terp in our office. When he first came to work with us, one of the first conversations I had with him was about weddings. He asked me how much it cost to get married in America. I started talking about Weddings and such. But what he was asking about was the dowry. How much for the bride price. In Afghanistan, you have to pay the brides family to marry her. They have a traditional sit meeting called the Nikah where they haggle over the bride price. I’m told that the average is around $5,000.

Another guy who works in my office named Farhad told me that he couldn’t marry the girl that he wanted because his mother refused to participate in the “barbaric practice.” His mother’s words. Not mine. So regardless of Farhad or the girls feelings, they had to break it off. Later, he told me that she was to be married to a guy from Kabul. He was pretty heart broken. But, the girl threatened to kill herself if she was forced to marry. So the wedding was called off.

I’m told that this is common in Afghanistan and Pakistan. A girl being forced to marry someone that she doesn’t want to marry will threaten to commit suicide. Sometimes the wedding is called off. Other times, the father forces the marriage. Sometimes with fatal results.

This is a funny video about attending Afghan weddings.

Here are a few links that give you insight to Afghan Weddings. Good and bad.

Afghan girl in Britain is taken to Afghanistan and Pakistan to find a suitable husband whom she is forced to marry.

Observations from an American (?) Girl at an Afghan Wedding.

Modern Afghan Wedding.

Explore posts in the same categories: Afghanistan, culture

Tags: Afghan Weddings, Afghanistan, bride price, dowry, forced marraiges, herat, Nikah, tradition, Weddings

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